We’d like to thank our guests for celebrating our 70th birthday. We’ve compiled a collection of heartfelt thank yous to show our gratitude for the celebration and love.
- Theme - The life of a diligent parent
- Topic - I want to be challenged
- Topic - I want to do some introspection
- Theme - I dream of a spacious person
- Theme - I'm happy to have you around
- Topic - Looking forward to tomorrow
- Topic - The life of a contemplative father
- Topic - Contemplation and leisure today
- Theme - Growing Old is a Joyful Thing
- Theme - Remembering the good old days
Theme – The life of a diligent parent
With so many neighbors in need around us, it seems like there are so many ways to help.
Some people run laundries and take care of the laundry of the elderly in their neighborhoods, washing and drying their dirty quilts for them to keep them healthy.
They also take care of their homes and household goods.
Some barbers travel far and wide to give haircuts to elderly people who come to their barbershop, as well as those with limited mobility.
Some travel to neighboring cities and towns to take senior portraits, while others foster children waiting to be adopted.
If there’s one thing these unsung angels have in common, it’s that they’re not all rich.
And in many cases, they’re people who have experienced great misfortune themselves.
They start to serve because they know and recognize the circumstances and feelings of someone in need, someone they didn’t know when they were well off.
Perhaps even before I knew the word service, my parents served.
I remember being taken by the hand from a very young age and taken to many places.
Some of them were my friends my age, some were older adults, some were disabled, some were elderly.
I think that’s what it’s all about.
“Are people inherently good or evil?
I was probably in middle school, learning about the theory of vocalization and the theory of asexuality.
Many philosophers and theologians have their own logic to argue that people are good or evil.
If you look back at the biblical characters who ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, or the dictators who killed and destroyed so much, it seems that people are evil by nature.
I remember my parents telling me that it’s not just our sensitivity that makes us cry when we see someone struggling in an earthquake or typhoon in a country we don’t even know the location of on TV or the internet.
I also remember them telling me that they hoped their children would walk a similar path as they did, because our brains are wired so that we can’t turn a blind eye to the suffering of our neighbors.
My parents taught me compassion.
Compassion is the emotion of understanding another person’s pain, which is different from pity, which is vaguely feeling sorry for someone.
Plus, compassion makes both the giver and the receiver happy.
Sometimes it’s frustrating to watch my parents focus on volunteering in retirement.
I worry about their bodies breaking down and fatigue setting in.
But it’s still inspiring to see how active they are and how they want to take care of their neighbors.
I also realize that I’ll be chasing my parents’ shadows for the rest of my life.
I love them with all my heart.
Topic – I want to be challenged
It’s already December.
It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since we started 2024, but a year has already flown by.
Looking back on the past year, so much has happened.
I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve been angry, and I’ve been happy.
And it’s weird. Why is it that the hard moments are more memorable, even though there were plenty of smiles and happy moments?
I think it’s because the memories of happy moments are like a force that keeps us alive, and they’re buried deep inside us, more precious than the memories of hard times.
The most precious things are not easily revealed.
I think my happiness is writing.
I’ve had a longing for writing all my life.
After I retired, I learned poetry at a cultural center.
I was probably around 20 years old, and that was the first act of my life.
The day I learned poetry was probably the day I opened a new chapter in my life.
My country, South Korea, was very unstable and precarious.
So was my life.
So I want to make the world a little more comfortable, happy, and safe for people.
When I say I write poetry, I think it’s because I’m deeply troubled.
But please think that it was because I was a little lonely and lonely in my life.
If I’m embarrassed to say something personal, my poetry gets better as I get older.
I like the white space in poetry that prose doesn’t have.
It’s more intuition and inspiration than logic, more insight and sensitivity than speculation.
The poetry of chrysanthemums, which I learned as a very young child, comes to me anew.
I marvel at the imagination and sensitivity of the poem, “When your yellow petals are about to blossom/ At night/ The fear falls away/ And sleep never comes to me.”
I recently wrote a poem on a postcard for a friend’s birthday.
I remember how genuinely pleased he was.
He replied that he loved seeing you try new things.
It’s not always easy to start something new when you’re older.
I get hesitant, and because I’m a passive person, it’s not easy to put my thoughts into action.
But I’m up for the challenge and I’m determined.
I remember my dad’s old saying that if you don’t change, you don’t progress.
I hope to be a better person tomorrow than I am today, and a more progressive person the day after tomorrow.
They say that happiness is something you find, not something you create.
Maybe that’s why I believe that happiness, big and small, is all around us if we just turn our heads for a moment.
We just don’t see it because we’re apathetic, curious, and jaded.
Today, when you’re feeling a little down, why not take a moment to notice the little things around you?
You never know, one small object might bring you a lot of unexpected happiness.
I will do my best to do so.
Thank you.
Topic – I want to do some introspection
‘Tis the season to be afraid to step outside in the cold.
It seems like it was just yesterday that the sun was making me gasp for air, and now the wind has turned chilly.
It must have snowed last winter night.
What a welcome sight to see a light dusting of snow.
It feels like the year is finally coming to an end.
My parents once told me that when you eat grapes, you spit out the skins and seeds.
They used to say that the way you eat grapes shows your character.
This act of eating and spitting it out is something we do all the time in our lives, but I think it shows our personality.
I’ve always been a maverick, a challenger.
I wanted to be an enterprising person, and once I got interested in something, I had to get to the bottom of it to get my temper out.
I think I’ve always lived with that as a compromise, thanks to my parents’ concern and care for me.
I’m very aware that I didn’t get where I am today solely on my own.
I had helpers throughout my adolescence, through the military, and after I got married.
And I’m grateful for them all.
I think a person’s character is, in a nutshell, a product of what they put into their heart and what they spit out.
It all comes out in your words and actions.
When I was younger, I was like that.
When I think about what I spit out, yes.
I spit out things that are mine, that I have in my heart, but that I’m not comfortable admitting as mine.
Like if I spit it out, it’s gone.
It was radical, it was violent.
But my parents, my spouse, and my children corrected me and guided me.
On the surface, society is a collection of people.
Deeper down, it’s people and their unconsciouses bumping into each other to get through another day.
That’s why society is complex and dangerous.
It may not seem like it, but the warriors are still in a constant state of archery with each other.
They’re tired, worn out, and in pain.
If you’re not paying attention, things slip away without you realizing what’s happening and how you’re being affected.
It’s hard to be a mature person when you’re a projectionist.
So it’s going to take some self-discipline and compromise to correct that.
You can only learn so much from those around you.
It was an attitude that allowed me to say, “It’s my fault.”
Before introspection became a habit, everything was hard.
I am grateful to everyone for everything.
I’m still not good enough, but I’ll keep trying.
Theme – I dream of a spacious person
These days, I can’t help but look up at the sky that keeps getting higher and higher, unaffected by the cold wind that chills my hands and feet.
You bundle up and head out the door.
You step outside, but don’t know where to go next.
It’s hard to keep one foot in front of the other when the sky is so close and the wind is so strong.
I’ll just go for a walk around the block, you think to yourself.
But then you hear the sound of a car that could be following you at any moment.
The acrid fumes make your mouth water.
At some point, your feet start to stomp.
Adjusting to the city as a country boy was not as easy as I thought it would be.
As a young man, I didn’t know anyone, and the unfamiliar alleyways and tall buildings seemed so foreign.
Now, I’ve grown accustomed to the cold urban feel.
I think it’s safe to say that I’m almost a city person.
Every day, I would wait until I got home to relax.
I’d go out for a refreshing walk and come back with a nervous tension.
Life in a city where it’s hard to take a walk in peace.
But the people I’ve lived and loved and the sights I’ve seen have changed so much in me.
It taught me how to live each day to the fullest, not just to get through it.
I feel like I know what it’s like to be full and happy.
I realize now that it’s the only thing I can face while walking my own path, without anyone else getting in my way.
Maybe that’s how you get in touch with a primal, pure soul you can’t even remember.
Maybe it’s these experiences that create tiny ripples in your life that eventually lead to huge changes.
I feel like my senses are expanding with each passing day.
When I revisit a place I visited a year ago, even if it’s the same place a few days ago, my senses are fulfilled and the world seems bigger.
Perhaps I am becoming a wider, deeper person.
I can’t describe the joy of listening to the crashing waves as live music, feeling the sea breeze tickle the nape of my neck, inhaling the scent of flowers, picking raspberries and tiny barley berries hidden in the grass, and watching the tiny flutter of a butterfly’s wings.
I feel like a river of peace has entered my life.
The comfort and peace of nature is so much warmer and deeper.
The flowers that I didn’t see, the grass that I didn’t notice, the birds that I didn’t hear, are now audible and touching my heart.
I think and resolve to be a more expansive person.
Thank you.
Theme – I’m happy to have you around
The know-it-all parent already has an attitude of “I know what you’re feeling,” “It’s just the way it is,” and so on.
There’s a lot of talk about parent-child relationships.
The dialog, the language, the demeanor, the facial expressions.
These are things that require a lot of modification.
However, language, behavior, and attitude are important not only between parents and children, but also between couples.
We Koreans are not good at expressing our emotions,
Children who grow up with blunt parents don’t learn how to express themselves and sometimes feel confused about their feelings.
Come to think of it, I must have been one of those people.
Most of the time, I would have a mocking attitude, like, “Who do you think you are to even think about that.”
The spouse would then feel ignored, resentful, and increasingly silent.
They also trivialized the problem by saying things like, “It’s okay,” or “You’ll be fine soon.”
I didn’t realize that even small problems can be hard on a spouse.
It’s a moment of mutual helplessness.
At one point, my spouse said to me that she wished we could have conversations where our personalities met, conversations where there was deep love and emotional sharing.
I didn’t know what he was talking about, and my eyes glazed over.
Even in that moment, I was secretly belittling my spouse’s words.
I must have been so inadequate and stupid.
Changing my attitude changed our relationship.
I had long forgotten how talkative and upbeat my spouse could be.
I remember what it was like to be in a relationship a long time ago, and I remember my spouse’s personality then.
And I think to myself, yes, I fell in love with this personality, but it’s my fault for letting him live like someone else for so long.
We’re just now figuring out how to talk to each other.
When I want to start a conversation, the first thing I do is stop what I’m doing and try to be an effective listener, focusing my attention on my spouse.
A friend of mine told me that it’s good to use “goon language,” such as “I see,” or “I can see how upset you must be.
It was a good idea.
The older I get, the more I realize the importance of my spouse.
The tender feelings we had when we were dating were missing throughout our marriage.
We were too busy with each other.
Now that we’re making eye contact and talking again, it’s like a new feeling.
I realize now how valuable it is to talk in a relaxed and free atmosphere.
Our relationship will only grow stronger when we listen and empathize.
I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you.
I want to tell you how much I appreciate you being here.
Thank you, everyone, for being here.
Topic – Looking forward to tomorrow
The fading sunlight signals that summer has left us.
It’s funny how time flies when you think about how hot it was last summer.
Soon, after this winter, the leaves will lose their green and turn yellow.
Spring flowers will show off their colors and fragrances, and another year will begin.
Just like every year, another new year will begin, and I’m excited.
On social media, I thought to myself.
I thought about how I wanted to live differently from my father and my friends.
My mind was filled with thoughts like that.
If I couldn’t change the world, I wanted to at least change myself.
But I didn’t want to do it alone.
I knew it had something to do with living with other people.
A life away from this rat hole of a city and with someone I respected and loved.
But now, I think I know.
Most lives will pass away.
A person dies, and all traces of his life slowly fade away.
But I still think.
That each and every one of us is the author of our own life.
Even if we die and leave no name behind, even if no one remembers us a hundred years from now, we still live.
Because this moment is precious, this moment is what matters.
I’ve always made mistakes and had regrets, but in the moment, life goes on.
With the belief that even if I did something stupid today, tomorrow could be a great day to make up for it.
I still think about that today.
Even though my 70 years have not been complete, full, and fulfilling, I am glad that there is tomorrow.
And I thank you all for being here, knowing that tomorrow will be even better than today.
Topic – The life of a contemplative father
There’s a German author named Heinrich Böll.
He wrote a piece called “Anecdote on the Fall of the Work Ethic”.
I thought that the elderly fisherman depicted in this piece was in contrast to Mr. Kim, an ordinary man in South Korea.
A tourist from the city asks the old man, who is dozing on the dock after an early morning fishing trip.
“Why don’t you catch more fish, if you catch more fish, you’ll have more fishing boats, a freezer and a smokehouse, and you’ll make a lot of money.
The fisherman asks, “And what happens then?”
The tourist replies, “I can just sit back in this harbor, enjoy the sunshine, watch the sea, and doze off.”
The fisherman replies, “I’m already doing that. Please don’t disturb me with you or the sound of your camera shutter clicking.”
The tourist feels envy, not pity, for the poor fisherman.
The blood of Diogenes, the philosopher in the barrel who said, “Get out of my way, don’t block the sunshine,” must be running through my father’s veins.
It’s said that ancient Greek philosophers considered rest to be the ultimate act of getting closer to the gods.
Maybe, as they say, competition is the law of no sleep.
But I can only run with the Red Queen so long.
My father, on the other hand, was a man who strived to be free of competition, and that’s how he disciplined his children and lived by his convictions.
Sometimes, when my brain is overloaded, when I’m not thinking straight, when I’m exhausted, I’m often told to do deep hops.
I would go to my dad at those times, and I would say this and that.
I’ve never really had a core problem to talk about, but just talking to my dad rejuvenates me.
Maybe for me, talking to my dad is a tonic.
Just as our bodies receive oxygen from our lungs, I am constantly being oxygenated by my father.
When will I be able to live like a fisherman, like my father.
When will I be able to look at the world with a light heart?
I don’t think it will be easy to follow in my father’s footsteps.
I would like to live my whole life following my father’s teachings.
Thank you all for attending.
Topic – Contemplation and leisure today
American novelist James Duncan described his life in his 1992 novel, “Brothers K”.
“My father, who was a professional baseball player, told me that there are two ways for a hitter to get the pitches he wants: the easiest way is not to favor any particular pitch, but the best hitter is the one who wants every pitch he sees, which may sound similar, but is actually quite different: he wants every pitch at his disposal, even the ones he thinks he’s going to strike out on. Even dead balls, you just have to want them”.
“You just have to want it.”
It seems to mean to embrace everything that happens in life, whether it’s pain or pleasure.
It sounds like it means to just live, to take it all in.
Is that easy to do?
It proclaims an essence of life that is too scary to face, too difficult to accept.
It makes me realize that survival itself is meaningful, let alone the pursuit of a meaningful life.
I can already feel the fear and exhaustion creeping in.
I realize now that happiness isn’t really at the destination, it’s on the journey to get there.
The belief that happiness would be at the destination was the arrival error.
The vague belief that I would be happy at some point in the future, and the false assumption that I would be happy when I reached a certain state.
And that’s how I lived with my unhappiness today.
I believe that people who are happy now will be happy in the future.
Rather than successful people being happy, they say happy people are successful.
If you don’t enjoy the journey to get to your destination, you won’t be happy when you get there, and you’ll be running again for the next destination.
You don’t think you have time to rest and relax in order to get to another destination.
It’s only now that you have time to breathe and take stock of the path you’ve traveled.
I wondered when the day would come in my life when I would have the time to reflect and slow down, and I guess it’s today.
It’s been a hard day, and I’ve been living it pretty fiercely, but I’m glad it’s over, even if it’s been painful for me because I’ve been so insatiable.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for attending my seventieth birthday feast.
I hope you will be a great support for me in my journey ahead.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Theme – Growing Old is a Joyful Thing
It’s winter, and the cold wind is blowing and freezing my body.
The cold makes my cells feel like they’ve been stretched thin.
Thanks to the winter rain that fell overnight, the air is fresher and the streets cleaner this morning than yesterday.
The winter sun is shining, and it’s a pleasant day.
‘I hate what I hate. I hate haters.
I don’t ask for forgiveness because that’s the kind of person I am.
I don’t live because of other people, and I don’t live for other people.
Also, it’s like.
‘I’ll only laugh when it’s funny, and I won’t laugh when it’s not funny. Isn’t it that simple to live?
I don’t know how simple and complex human existence is.
We all have our own childhood memories that prevent us from living our lives, and often make us refuse to even have a relationship with someone else.
But it’s also strange how the moment we meet someone who resembles even a tiny part of those memories, they are able to escape the nightmare of their past for a moment.
That’s how it was for me in real life.
I was always breaking out like I ate spoiled food and uncomfortable like I was wearing ill-fitting clothes because I was forcing myself to create and maintain relationships.
My social life was uncomfortable and difficult.
No one was really giving their heart to me, and I was just wrapping myself up in my own little bubble.
I realize this now.
I realized that even though I was a newbie in the social scene and it was hard, I found someone to share a part of my memory with.
It’s not easy, that’s for sure.
We have to wonder if we have lost the opportunity and even the way to meet such people.
I don’t think getting older is necessarily a painful thing.
The stubbornness and stubbornness that I used to have in me seems to be slowly melting away.
The countless wonderful people in my life have made me who I am today.
I’m terribly ashamed of the times when I thought I was the only one and the best.
My horizons have broadened and my outlook on the world has become more generous.
I couldn’t have imagined that when I was younger.
I saw the world differently after being in the military, I saw the world differently after having my first child, and I see the world differently today than I did yesterday.
When I was younger, I used to wonder what kind of old man I would look like.
I always promised myself that I would be an educated, learned, and sage-like old man.
I wonder what I’m like now.
It’s curious and interesting.
I’m sure there’s still some stubbornness in me.
I’m determined to melt them away in my remaining years.
Theme – Remembering the good old days
It’s the middle of the day, and there’s a light dusting of snow.
It seems like only yesterday that the sun was shining and you were afraid to go outside.
It seems like only yesterday that we were desperate for a cool breeze.
Now that winter is here, I’m longing for the warmth of spring.
When I was very young, I once went to the back mountains and got some surgically peeled ginkgo from a local woman.
We were poor, so we didn’t get to eat them very often, but we also didn’t get to see the hard, smelly mesocarp.
He kept it in his pocket because it was precious, and when he got home from playing with it, he took it out in front of his mother.
“I see my son has learned to think of his mom.”
I got a compliment from my mom that I didn’t expect.
I still have fond memories of my mother and I eating the roasted ginkgo biloba, just the two of us, when it was just a few days old.
The bitter-savory taste of ginkgo still lingers in my mouth more than 20 years later.
I loved the smile on my mom’s face as she struggled to make ends meet with a second job, and I got into the habit of grabbing every last bit of food I could find.
If I could have grown a pair of fingers, it would have been then.
We didn’t even have a refrigerator, let alone a cupboard to store cold food.
It was a hole-in-the-wall store in the back alley of our humble neighborhood.
It was a time of joy, second only to the willowy house where we were a family of seven, with no distinction between shop and home.
I remember my eldest brother, who never scolded me for not being able to study because he believed that every potential is unique and needs time to develop.
At the time, I was more scared of him than my father.
His words still ring in my ears, that everyone has a time to shine through their trials and experiences.
It’s something I’ve tried to remember and think about all my life.
They say you need a time to think about how you’re doing, how you’ve done, and how you’re going to do.
Maybe this is that time.
I’m thinking about my own age, 70, a little over, and I’m thinking about the past, the present, and the future.
Maybe this is a time of pause in my life.
It’s a time of rest, a time of renewed energy, a time of reflection.
I feel like I have a deeper, broader perspective now.
I would like to honor all the people who have made me who I am today.
Thank you.